Our Trial Run
by BluAlbino
Summary: Sequel to My Dreams, His Plot JD/Cox Janitor/Elliot While dealing with their friends, enemies, the hospital, and their own issues, can JD and Dr Cox make it work?
1. His Rules

I started the day with my new ritual. Coffee, gossiping with Carla, saying hi to Turk, then semi-stalking Perry. So for, I had spent every night this week at his place, but we went back to the same way it used to be at work. Namely, him ignoring me, then insulting me every time I try to talk to him.

"So what is this new atrocity Dr Cox has committed?" Carla asked me. I had just spent the last fifteen minutes whining about our 'relationship.' I wordlessly showed her my forearm. "What is this?" she asked, reading it.

"His 'rules.'" This morning Perry had written a list of rules right across my arm in black sharpie.

**1) Dr Cox is ****not**** to be referred to as anything other than Dr Cox, such as 'Perry' 'My Mentor' or 'My Boyfriend'**

**2) If you must tell people about how amazing Dr Cox is in bed, make sure they don't bother him about it later**

**3) Pestering Dr Cox at work ****will**** result in him yelling at you, no matter what the reason**

"Wow… How's that working out for ya?" I glared at her. "You've been spending too much time with Dr Cox." I took my arm back and walked away.

"Hey JD!" Turk said when I met him in the break room.

"Hey Chocolate Bear." I sat next to him on the couch.

"Why so glum?" I showed him my arm. He read them and made a face. "He shouldn't treat you like that." _Ever since the Dan thing, Turks been acting like a father._

(Dr Cox walked up to the door of a large suburban house, dressed like a teenager and carrying flowers. He cleared his throat, and knocked on the door. Turk answered, dressed like a middle aged man and sporting a bushy white mustache.

"I'm here for your son." he said, so nervous his voice cracked.)

"I should talk to him." _No you shouldn't! _

"Turk, don't!" He made a face. "I know he might act like this when we got together, if you say anything, he'll get mad." I went wide eyed and stuck out my lower lip a bit, and Turk fell for it hook, line and sinker. _If only Perry was so easy to convince._ I headed out for my first patients room, which 'coincidentally', was just two rooms away from one of Perry's patients.

_How am I supposed to get him to act like he cares?_

"Girl troubles?" asked my patient, a teenage girl with a broken leg.

"No…" I said. _That's actually true._

"Oh… Guy troubles?" _Mind reader!_

"Is it that obvious?"

"What? That you're gay, or that you're having problems? 'Cause they're both pretty obvious." I frowned at her. She kept talking, "let me guess. You and your boyfriend aren't getting along, but you don't want to talk to him about it."

"You're good."

"I know. But I talk to all the nurses, so how no I not know about this already?"

"Well there were some rumors going around…" I went into flashback mode.

(Perry and I walked up to the nurses station, where they were all gossiping. He stopped and whistled. They all turned around to look at us. They went silent.

Perry glared at all of them. Then he put one arm around my waist and growled protectively. I think they got the message. Then he marched me away. I tried to peek at them over my shoulder.

"Don't look back." I snapped my head forward again.)

"…but he took care of them."

"Nice. Maybe that's how he shows that he cares. Or maybe he's just weird." _That's helpful_.

"Thanks… Well you seem okay. And I have like sixteen other patients to see to."

"See ya JD!" _AHHHHHH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!_ I looked back over my shoulder at her, she was grinning like a maniac. I rushed out of there, and over to my next patient. On the way, I walked past Dr Kelso barking orders at Ted.

"… get the birds away from my parking spot, write up the notes for tomorrow's board meeting, finish the crunching the numbers for…" _Wait, did he say board meeting?_

"Dr Kelso! There's a board meeting tomorrow? A full board meeting?" Dr Kelso nodded, then they headed back down the hall.

"We have a problem."

* * *

I found Dr Cox one floor down.

"Martha, do I have to refer you back to rule number three?" He said, without looking up from his chart.

"There's a board meeting tomorrow."

"What? That's not possible. If there's a board meeting, then Jordan would be coming to town." I gulped and looked over his shoulder. He turned, and standing there was his terrifying ex-wife.


	2. My Reason To Hide

**A/N I kinda stole an idea from friends... But I tweaked it, and I'm telling you so I hope it's not that bad.**

"Per-Bear, DJ, you don't look happy to see me." She said. _We aren't_.

"Medusa! Why would I e-hever be happy to see you?" _He's dealing well._

"So what'd I miss. You two finally shack up?" She asked. I immediately went into panic mode.

"HA-HA!" I laughed too loudly. "Very funny! We didn't-" Perry gave me his patented 'shut the hell up' glare. Jordan looked shocked, well as shocked as she could with that much botox.

"I was just kidding, but you are actually doing it, aren't you?" She sounded like Christmas had come early. "Perry…"

"Don't say it." he muttered.

"...you have a BOYFRIEND!" He cringed, and everyone in the hallway turned to look at us. Jordan was about to crack up, and Perry was about to go on a murderous rampage. I retreated a bit, feeling like a moving target._ I'm a home wrecker. _I wanted to flee, but instead decided to stay, for moral support.

"Lay off of him!" I said. _Moral support is supposed to be silent!_

"What was that?" Jordan asked.

"What was that?" Perry repeated.

_I have blurting issues…_

"Leave him alone! You don't have to make fun of him all the time!" Perry was doing the 'shut the hell up' thing again, and Jordan burst into hysterical laughter.

"You sure can pick'em!" she said, heading off to her meeting, still laughing. Perry was apparently trying to drill a hole through my skull with his eyes, which felt like it was working.

"What the hell was that, Angela?" He growled at me. _Damn that's sexy/terrifying._

"I was standing up for my man…"

"Your man? Since whe-hen have I been your man? I am not, nor will I ever be your man, Newbie. Get that through your over-gelled head." _Just don't say anything, nothing at all._

"THEN WHY ARE YOU SLEEPING WITH ME!?" _I need to wire my jaw shut. Today._ Everyone who had been walking away after the Jordan incident stopped dead and stared. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Laverne pick up the phone. "Umm… I didn't mean that…" _I'll just go crawl in a hole and die now…_

Perry was trying very hard not to punch me right now, I could tell by the way he was clenching and unclenching his fists. His breath was coming much too fast to be healthy, and a vein was pulsing in his forehead.

"You have ten seconds to leave." I ran away before my stupid mouth could get me in any more trouble.

"ALL OF YOU!" I heard him yell, and was caught up in the stampede of people trying to get out of his way.

* * *

_This has got to be the worst possible place to hide. But no one'll find me here._ Perry caused an entire floor of the hospital to be evacuated, and was now trying to find me, to make an example to all the other stupid people around here that don't know how to keep their mouths shut.

(My head on a pike, outside of the hospital's main entrance. Right above it a 'Don't piss off Dr Cox' sign. The Janitor walks out, whistling happily, and begins to dust off my face.)

"The one thing he does clean…" The stall door swung open and Carla walked in.

"Bambi, why are you hiding in the women's restroom?" She asked, looking confused and hopping from one foot to the other.

"This is the one place Dr Cox won't look for me." Carla continued dancing.

"Hold that thought for one second." She said. When she came back a minute later she wasn't doing the potty dance anymore, and was a lot more patient.

"So you screwed up. It's not that big of a deal." _Yeah right. _"Okay, maybe it is. Just do what I do when Turk is mad at me." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively.

"What?" I asked, clueless. She hit me, 'playfully.'

"Sex you idiot. 'Special' sex."

"You act like I have a say in that." She glared at me.

"Then tell him you won't have sex, at all." _Do you know anything about men?_

"I'm a guy, I can't actually refuse sex." _Not that it would make a difference if I did… _She frowned.

"You're screwed then." I glared at her. "I'm sorry Bambi, but I can't help you!"

"You can calm him down." _I hope._

"Nuh-uh! Did you see that vein in his forehead? I think it's gonna pop." _Please… _I gave her the puppy dog face. It didn't seem to be working. Then she caved. "Fine, but you owe me." _Gotta love the puppy dog face._

Carla left, and I pondered how to get Perry off my back. _Maybe I do need to grow a pair…_ Then I remembered something that helped get me through med school. _I need to talk to Dan._ I snuck out of the hospital, looking around every corner before I walked. I had to knock on the door of my own apartment, Dan answered.

"You can only come in if you brought beer!"

"Is Dr Cox there?"

"Nope." I walked in. "What's up, Johnny." _Well I signed my own death warrant, then hid in the girl's room for half an hour._

"Nothing… Do you still have those hypnotism tapes I bought in high school?"

"Sure, I think they're in the glove box of my car." _Yes!_ I punched the air, which anyone but Dan would've thought was crazy. But he's used to me. A got my tapes out of his car, set up my old walkman, and took a nap. With 'Be A More Confident You' playing in my ears.


	3. My Confidence Booster

**WOOT! New chap! little A/N There is some serious OOC-ness going on in this one, but it's supposed to be like that.**

Dr Cox studied his patient's chart, or tried to anyway. Last night was the first night that Newbie hadn't stayed over since they got together. All because, yet again, he hadn't been able to hold his temper. Dammit. _I should probably apologize… not that I'm going to._ He wasn't even that mad at JD's outburst, it's not like he cared if everyone know they were having sex. But just being around Jordan made every minor mistake seem like a horrible affront. He had a slight tendency to take things out on other people. _I'll I have to do is pretend it didn't happen, and he'll forgive me anyway. I'll just wait until tomorrow, when he's working. _Newbie had today off, which meant he was even more surprised when JD strutted up to the front desk.

"Sheryl. Are you having a good hair day, you seem diff-" Dr Cox didn't get to finish his sentence, because JD grabbed him and pulled him into a rough kiss. Dr Cox was released after a second, and was, for the first time in a long time, speechless.

"Good morning to you, too. Don't call me Sheryl." JD said confidently, then walked away.

* * *

"Heyy Elliot!" Dan said, and he slid into the cafeteria chair next to her. At first, he was a little weirded out by his brother going out with a dude, but then he realized something. _Now we're not competing for Elliot anymore. _Now he was using every possible opportunity he had to flirt with her. Strangely though, she didn't seem to be responding… _Nah… It'll just take her a while. But if I didn't know better, I'd say she already had a boyfriend…_

"Hey Dan!" She said cheerfully enough. Since he didn't work at the hospital, he didn't buy a lunch, so he stole a French fry off her plate. Elliot didn't seem to mind. Actually, she wasn't paying that much attention to him. _Time to resort to drastic measures._

"Dad used to love French fries…" he sniffed dramatically and stared at the potatoes. Elliot turned around and looked at the face he was making, he hoped it was closer to 'holding back tears' then it felt. Appearently it was, because Elliot said, "Oh you poor thing" and hugged him. _Jackpot._

From behind him, on the other side of the room, the Janitor glared at the back of Dan's head.

* * *

Dr Cox headed over to Carla's station and found exactly what he was looking for. Newbie.

"What the hell was that? Carol!" He added the last word a bit louder than necessary.

"Hey Perry!" JD called.

"What did I say about calling me Perry? I think I said never, e-hever, call me that. To you it is, and always will be, Dr Cox." JD was unfazed by the mini-rant.

"I know, but I told you not to call me girls names, but you do anyway. It's only fair I get to call you Perry."

"Well you don't, Betty. And I'll call you whatever the hell I please." Dr Cox folded his arms across his chest and dared Newbie to reply. Two days ago, he would've panicked and caved in less then five seconds. Not today. He just stood there, with an infuriating smile on his face.

"Go Bambi…" Carla said, awed.

When did you get testicles?" Dr Cox asked. He didn't get an answer, because Kelso walked by.

"Dr Dorian? Why aren't you in scrubs? And, more importantly, why are you standing around talking, in my hospital?" He glared and Ted stood behind him, sweating.

"Today's my day off, I can do whatever I want in 'your hospital'." Kelso seethed, and Ted was looking at JD like he was god.

"Fine. But don't think you won't pay for this tomorrow." He walked away, but Ted lingered.

"Th-that was amazing…" he stuttered.

"TED!" Kelso called. He scampered down the hallway, giving JD another worshipful look. JD chuckled and turned back to gossip with Carla. Dr Cox went up and felt his pulse.

"Can I help you?" JD said, amused. Which pissed off Dr Cox even more.

"No no. I'm just checking to see if you're a pod person. I mean, god, Judy, what the hell has gotten into you?" JD smiled suggestively and moved a bit closer.

"Well, every night but last, you have." Dr Cox's eyes widened a bit, and so did Carla's. JD grinned wider and carried out with his annoying new habit of walking away after saying something that made Dr Cox want to hit him. That vein in his temple stared popping again…

"Don't kill him." Carla said, putting a hand on his chest, holding him back.

"Give me a reason not to."

"Because then the only people in this hospital willing to sleep with you would be Jordan, and that scary new intern that swishes his hips when he walks." Dr Cox, distracted, gave her a look. "He's a total slut."

"Fair enough." He said, then walked in the opposite direction of JD.

* * *

The Janitor was sulking. _Stupid unshaven guy, hitting on my blonde doctor. I must destroy him._ Unfortunately for him, JD walked by.

"Good morning!" he said.

"Is it? Is it really?" The Janitor said in his most threatening voice, hoping for tears. Instead, JD smiled.

"You've used that one before. And yes, it is." He walked away, leaving the Janitor in a worse mood then he was before.

* * *

"CHOCOLATE BEAR!"

"VANILLA BEAR!" Turk and JD ran across the hallway and hugged, reminding themselves of those old movies with people in airports. They started laughing like little boys and JD walked Turk down to the O.R.

"I didn't expect to see you here today, aren't you scared of Dr Cox?" Turk asked him.

"Nah. I saw Perry already, nothing that bad happened. And I finally told him to stop calling me girls names!"

"My man!" Turk said, and gave him a one armed squeeze. Out of no where, Dr Cox walked up, and wrapped an arm around JD's waist, pulling him along backwards without breaking stride.

"I need to borrow this." He said without looking back. Turk paused for a moment, then turned and ran towards them. JD didn't look scared, but he obviously needed his help. Turk ran in front of him, turned and pulled the same trick back on Dr Cox, but with more flash. He picked JD up and threw him over one shoulder, fireman style.

"Sorry, no deal." He said, walking away carrying his friend like a sack of potatoes.

"GANDI!" Turk broke into a sprint, making JD bounce around and feel slightly nauseous. Then the worst possible thing happened. He tripped. The Janitor's foot popped out in front of him, making him fall on his face, half on top of JD. Dr Cox nodded at the Janitor, silently thanking him, and picked up unconscious JD, who hit his head when he fell. Dr Cox carried him bridal style into the break room.

"Leave!" he said, and all the other people cleared out. Fast. He set JD on the couch and waited for him to wake up.

* * *

**Reviews make me happy;)**


	4. His Dye Job

(Perry and I we're waltzing slowly on an empty dance floor. Soft music was playing in the background. Perry leaned in for a kiss, I closed my eyes…)

Then opened them back in the real world.

"Don't Stand So Close To Me!" I said triumphantly.

"What?" said Perry, who was stretched out on the other couch.

"That should be our song… The slow version." I said. _Damn! I was supposed to listen to that stupid tape __every__ time I fell asleep. _

"You're back to normal." Perry said, and moved closer. He lifted my head and looked into both my eyes individually. He slowly ran his fingers over my scalp, checking for bruises. "And you don't have a concussion." He pulled his hands away. _Wait! That felt good…_ Perry scowled at me. _Great, now he can read my mind too!_

"So, what the hell happened to you, Darla?" I remembered how much fun it was being confident JD…

"Nothing! I didn't use a hypnotism tape or anything like that!" Confident JD didn't blurt, dammit!

"At least you're finally admitting it." _That I have confidence issues?_

"What?"

"That you're a schoolgirl, eh Roxanne?" He looked like he was being totally serious, but he was kidding. I think. _Do not mock my love of the Police!_ I frowned at him, and he chuckled.

_Hey! I made him laugh…_ I think that's a first. I must've had a goofy smile on my face, because he stopped grinning.

"Wipe that look off your face. And no more hypnotism!" _Yes, sir!_ I almost snapped a salute, but I held back, barely.

Then I realized that we were alone in the break room, sitting very close, and I hadn't kissed Perry since this morning. I think he read my mind again, because he pulled me close. _I always wondered what it would be like to have sex in here…_

**BEEP! BEEP!**

_Is that my alarm clock? Am I dreaming? Five more minutes… _Everything stayed the same, but the beeping kept going. Perry, glanced at his pager.

"Damn. Gotta go Newbie." He hurried out the door. I fell back on the couch. _God hates me._

* * *

_Done. _The Janitor rubbed his hands together, finished with his masterpiece. _Now to implement plan 'Get-back-at-unshaven-guy-for-hitting-on-blonde-doctor.'_ He walked off to find Dan. Who as it turns out, was busy stealing pudding and tater-tots from the cafeteria.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing…" Dan said with a mouth full of chocolate pudding. The Janitor shook his head.

"Anyway, I just ran into blonde doctor-"

"You mean Elliot?"

"-Yeah, her. She was asking if I could find you, and tell you she wants to talk. She's upstairs."

"Take me there." The Janitor lead Dan into an empty, closed down wing of the hospital. He pointed out a door. Dan started towards it, but the Janitor stopped him.

"Wait. " He looked up and down the hallway, no one was there. "I she'll probably get mad it me for saying this, but from the way she was talking, I think the less clothes you're wearing, the better." Dan didn't need any more than that. He stripped down to his boxers, and handed the Janitor a wadded up ball of clothes.

"Thanks man. I owe you one." he headed to the door, without looking back. The Janitor tossed the clothing into the open elevator behind him and pressed the down button. _Just a little closer…_

Dan walked through the doorway, right across the tripwire the Janitor had placed there. A bucket over his head upended, pouring a bright neon pink liquid on him, covering him from head to foot. _Success!_

"What am I covered in?" Dan said, after he had gotten over the shock. _I was hoping you'd ask that._

"That, my friend, is five gallons of watered-down pink hair dye." _Permanent pink hair dye._ He savored the crushed look on Dan's face one more time before heading back down the elevator. _It should be soaking into your skin right about now. It might wash out in a few weeks…_

* * *

Dan, now the color of a watermelon, stood rooted to the spot, still in denial. For the fourth time, he lifted his hands, still blindingly pink. It sunk in then. The dye, and Dan's predicament.

_This means war._

**Yes, Dan is now hot pink. And i got to reference one of my favorite bands, go me! On a sadder note, school just started up, so i might not update as often.**


	5. Their Big Fight

_God help whoever paged me._ Being called away at the worst possible moment sucked for Dr Cox, but it would be much worse for the other person. He'd make sure of that. He stormed through the door of the room he was called to, not particularly caring if anyone inside was sleeping. No one was.

"Dr Cox! That was fast." Dr Cox's least favorite patient, Mr. Korman, smiled at him.

"Wha-at is it this time Korman? And it better be re-heally good, or I will give you a reason to be in that bed." By now Harvey was used to threats, and ignored it.

"I'm hallucinating!" He said happily. _That's a new one._ "I was here for my weekly check-up and I saw a giant pink smurf walking down the halls!" Harvey was extremely happy to have a semi-valid symptom.

"Fair enough. Who gave you my pager number?" Dr Cox was a doctor, and therefore couldn't beat up someone who might actually have something wrong with them.

"Dr Turk. He said since he was a surgeon, I should be able to contact a real doctor. He also said something about payback… Where are you going?"Dr Cox walked away, a very bad sign.

* * *

I was still sitting in the break room, wondering what I had done to get my karma so royally screwed, when my brother walked in.

"You're pink. And naked."

"I'm wearing boxers." He sat down and put his arm over the couch, soaking it in pink liquid. _I really don't want to ask…_

"Why are you pink?" _…But I have to._

"Pissed off the janitor. Any beer in here?" He seemed unfazed.

"Are you just going to let this go?" I asked, shocked.

"No, but I need beer. Helps me plot. You're helping by the way." _Of course I am._

* * *

Dr Cox marched over to Turk, scattering interns in his wake.

"Dear god turtlehead! I've gotten used to you being a surgeon, and therefore useless, but now you're worse than useless, you're actually making my day so much worse than it was already. Why did you give that annoying hypochondriac my number?" Turk gave him a smug smile, not helping improve Dr Cox's temper.

"Because you kidnapped my friend. Payback's a bitch." Turk didn't seem that worried. Carla, watching this from the other side of the counter, was.

"Turk…" she said warningly. Dr Cox leaned forward, to talk to him privately.

"Because when that idiot paged me, I was just about to fuck your vanilla bear in the break room. I'll be heading back there now to finish the job." He half turned, about to walk away, when Turk punched him in the face. Dr Cox landed on his ass, surprised by the force behind the blow.

"Bad move Gandhi."

* * *

"How are we going to get back at the Janitor?" I asked.

"Dunno. I bet you could come up with something though."

(The Janitor walked into the parking lot, whistling and looking triumphant. Then he got to his van, and saw that it was so full of chocolate pudding that it was leaking from under the door.)

"We'd need a lot of pudding."

"Yes we would…" Dan said, getting a look on his face that always scared the crap out of me when we were kids. I scooted away a little. Thankfully my beeper buzzed.

**Bambi, get your ass down here. NOW.**

"Gotta go." I don't think Dan heard me, he was tapping his fingers together and looked ready to burst out into an evil laugh. I hurried out of there, and over to the nurses station. From down the hallway I could hear shouts, I ran faster.

When I turned the corner, the first thing I saw was Perry and Turk throwing punches, with Carla standing next to them, trying to break it up.

"Stop it! This is a hospital! There are sick people SLEEPING!" _Not anymore. _

"Chocolate bear! Perry! Stop it!" They looked up at the sound of my voice, Dr Cox gripping the front of Turk's scrubs. "Let go." I said to Perry, and for once he listened to me. He looked ashamed for a moment, then it was replaced by his usual angry face. He scowled at Turk, then walked off in a huff. I looked at Carla, who mouthed 'thank you' and wrapped her arm around Turks.

I headed off after Perry, knowing that Turk would be okay with Carla. For now. I caught up with him just as he got in the elevator, and it closed after me. There was no one else in there, but there was a pile of discarded clothes on the floor.

"What was that all about?" I asked him, trying not to sound angry.

"I don't see how that's a-hany of your business, Sally." I almost saw red.

"Yes it is my business Perry! Turk is my best friend, and you, weather you want to admit it or not, are my boyfriend! So I want to know your end of it before I talk to Turk!" I felt bad for yelling at him, he looked so tired. And there was a bruise forming on his cheek and a bit of blood running out of the corner of his mouth. I sighed, and started to examine him, resisting the urge to kiss him better.

"What are you doing?" He asked. I turned his head to the side a little, to see the bruise.

"Seeing if you have any permanent damage." Neither of us said anything after that, and we left the hospital together_._


	6. His Revenge, Their Alone Time

Perry and I walked into the hospital, and I got to see how literal Dan had taken my pudding comment. The floor was coated in chocolate and butterscotch, and the garbage cans were overflowing with plastic pudding cups. I stepped forward, and the pudding went to the tops of my sneakers. Dan walked over to me, still ridiculously pink, and licking pudding off his fingers.

"Heyy little brother." I poked him. "What was that for?"

"Usually when the floor is covered in pudding, it means I'm daydreaming." Dan nodded and walked away, probably to gloat to the Janitor.

"He does know that this is a hospital." Perry said.

"I think so." He walked off to his first patient's room, and I went to find Turk. Luckily, the pudding disaster was only on the first floor. I followed the pudding footprints until I reached Carla and my SCB at the nurses station on the second floor.

"Hey, you okay?" Turk looked just about as bad as Perry, he had a cut on his forehead and was walking stiff.

"I'm fine, man. But there's one thing you should know, he started it!" _He's fine_. I grinned, relived.

"You threw the first punch." Carla said, not looking up.

"He provoked me!" He turned to me. " I was defending your honor!"

"I know, Chocolate bear, but there shouldn't be any more fistfights. Please." I gave him the puppy dog look, just to be safe. He sighed. _Score!_

"Fine." We hugged, and right in the middle of it, my stomach growled. Turk and Carla raised their eyebrows at me.

"What? The smell of pudding makes me hungry!" _I wonder where all the tapioca is…_

* * *

Dan sat across the hallway from the janitor's supply closet, half hidden behind a desk.

"What are you d-doing?" asked someone from behind him. Dan grabbed him by the arm and pulled him down behind the desk.

"Shhh… We can't let him know we're here." Ted blinked, thinking Dan was an escaped mental patient, then realized that a mental patient would most likely be hiding from Kelso. He stayed put. Right on time, the Janitor walked up to his closet, then suspiciously looked around.

"Can he see us?" whispered Dan.

"No, he always does that." Ted whispered back. Apparently he didn't see anything wrong in the hallway, and whipped out his keys. Dan crossed his fingers, and Ted copied him. Slowly the Janitor opened the door, and was hit with an almost solid wall of tapioca pudding.

"YES! BULLSEYE!" Dan screamed and jumped to his feet.

"Um… Can I go now?" Ted asked, confused.

"Sure, whatever." Ted shuffled off, leaving Dan to gloat. He waltzed up to the Janitor, a huge grin on his face. "Hey Janitor." The janitor looked at him, blinking pudding out of his eyes.

"You know, this'll wash off, and now my uniform smells like pudding. But you'll be pink for the next three weeks." Dan's grin disappeared.

"Touché." The winner of this round decided, they walked their separate ways, the Janitor already plotting his next move. He walked in on Dr Cox giving Elliot her weekly rant.

"-you see Barbie, that's why you will ne-hever be as good a doctor as you think you are. And another thing-" Elliot, who was about to cry, looked over his shoulder, and spotted the Janitor.

"Holy frick!" she said, cutting off Dr Cox. He looked, and saw the same thing as Elliot.

"You look like a ve-hery large baby vomited on you."

"We should get you cleaned up!" Elliot said, grabbing the janitor's hand and pulling him into the bathroom with her.

"You know this is the men's room, right?" He asked. Elliot blew hair out of her face.

"Who cares, it's not like I haven't been in here before." she waved her hand in the air. "Thank you for getting me away from Dr Cox, I cannot stand that man. What happened anyway?" She wet a paper towel and started wiping pudding off the janitor's face.

"Well, I'm kinda in a war with this weird guy. Long story short, he covered the hospital in pudding because I turned him pink."

"You turned Dan pink?!"

"Sorta…" said the janitor, expecting her to be mad. Elliot burst into giggles.

"Oh my god, when I saw him walking down the hallway I laughed so hard I fell over." She kept laughing and got the janitor started. "And he's the one who filled the first floor with pudding? I can't believe you guys!"

"Wait 'till you see what happens to him next!" The Janitor said. That calmed Elliot down.

"I don't think that's a good idea…"

"Aw! C'mon, I was gonna electrocute him. Please?" Elliot shook her head.

"Um… No. You know Janitor, I just realized that I have no idea what your name is?" She changed the subject, hoping he would forget about electrocution.

"I don't know your name either."

"Really?" He shrugged.

"Yeah, normally I just call you blonde doctor." she thought for a minute.

"I'm Elliot, Elliot Reid." she stuck out her hand for him to shake it. He did. "You know, it's customary to give your name too." The Janitor, looked around, saw there wasn't anyone else in the bathroom.

He leaned forward and, careful not to get pudding in Elliot's hair, whispered his name in her ear.

* * *

**Pudding Fluff! Mwahaha! This chapter was a little too much fun to write, I think it's giving me bad ideas...** **Anyway, hope you like!**


	7. My New Friend

Dr Cox was avoiding all the pudding-oriented nonsense, and was actually having a pretty normal day. Until he ran into the chief of medicine.

"Dr Cox, what the hell are you doing here?" Kelso said.

"Uh Bobbo, last time I checked, I work here." Kelso raised his eyebrow and handed Dr Cox a sheet of paper.

"Not right now you don't. Fist fighting in the hospital gets you two weeks suspension." Dr Cox crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hold on just a second there, Gandhi hit first. Suspend him."

"I'm on my way right now." Kelso thought for a second. "Actually, I could forget the suspension if you did me a favor…"

"Now Bob, you know I'm not into necrophilia."

"I didn't mean you, I mean your little protégé. Harrison's coming to town and long story short, he needs a date. You set them up, and you can come back to work early." Dr Cox didn't even pretend to consider.

"A-habsolutely not going to happen Bobbo. Never ever ever ever ever…" Dr Cox walked down the hallway, continuing his sentence. A nurse walked by carrying a gift basket full of banana nut muffins, and of course Kelso followed.

He passed Turk, Carla and me in the hallway, and had to tear himself away from the muffin basket.

"Turkleton! I was looking for you, you're suspended." He looked over his shoulder, searching for muffin-nurse.

"Suspended!" Carla said, pulling him back into the conversation.

"Fighting in the hospital. Two weeks. This conversation seems very familiar…" Carla had her I'm-gonna-kill-someone look on her face. Turk took his suspension slip, and walked her away, talking her down. Dr Kelso looked around hopefully for muffin-nurse, but she wasn't there.

"Sir." I said.

"What do you want?"

"Well, the whole fight was sorta my fault, and I feel really bad about it, sir, is there anything I can do to make you reconsider?" Kelso gave me his patented smirk.

"Funny you should mention that…"

* * *

I fidgeted uncomfortably at the table, waiting for my 'date' to show up. _Perry would kill you if he knew where you are right now…_ I was waiting for Dr Kelso's son at this fancy restaurant, where the waiters snubbed their noses at Sasha and wouldn't valet park her. Then they made me put on this stupid too-small jacket! _Itchy!_

"Your friend, sir." A waiter said and lead a skinny blonde man up to my table. _Am I supposed to stand? Pull out his chair? I'm so confused… _The waiter pulled out his chair for him and gave me a glare. Harrison looked me over with eyes exactly like his fathers.

"Hmmm… Not bad. I guess Dad has better taste than he lets on." _What am I, a piece of meat?_

(Harrison wondered up and down the deli istle, then finally stopped in front of a display.

"I'll take that one," he said, pointing. The man behind the counter pulls me out, wrapped in paper.

"How much?"

"Just a pound a half." The guy behind the counter smirked.

"There's a lot more than that here.")

"I'll have you know I am at a healthy weight for my body type!" Harrison's eyebrows shot up.

"O-kay then…" _Great, I killed the conversation before it even started. Wonderful way to start a date. _

"Sorry, I have blurting problems…" Harrison laughed.

"I can tell! And before you get all nervous and weird, this isn't a date." _Huh?_ Harrison smiled, and it was slightly less threatening then Dr Kelso's grin. "I haven't told Dad yet, but I'm dating someone else. You might know him, he works at your hospital."

"Who?"

"This guy named Todd…"

"THAT IS A VERY BAD IDEA!" I yelled, jumping up and scaring the people around me. I quickly sat back down, embarrassed.

"Trust me, I know. We haven't done anything. And never will. I just want to piss of Dad, and the Todd is perfect for that." _Oh yes he is._ I felt so relieved that it wasn't a date. I couldn't cheat on Perry like that! "You going out with someone?" he asked.

"Yeah, you might've met him, Dr Cox?" Harrison grinned again.

"Yes I have! In fact I love that man. He pisses my Dad off so much it almost not funny. Almost." I settled into the conversation. _Maybe this won't be so bad after all. Good food, wine, and someone to talk to. _Tonight was shaping up pretty nicely, all things considered.

* * *

**Woot for some Todd love! ;p It had to be done... Anyway, reveiws make me happy!**


	8. His Headaches

Dr Cox climbed the stairs two at a time on the way to JD's apartment._ Dammit Newbie! Where the hell are you? _Now that he was suspended he had a lot of time to obsess over things, like why his boyfriend hadn't shown up. _Not boyfriend! Newbie._ He stopped in front of the door, and was about to open it when he heard voices inside.

"Forget about that guy." _What? _"Forget about they way you fell into his eyes." Dr Cox didn't need to hear any more.

He kicked open the door.

"Forget about-"

JD and a blond guy were sitting on opposite sides of the couch, drinking beers and singing loudly, but stopped suddenly.

"Hi, Dr Cox." JD slurred, then he pointed to his friend. "Thizzis Harrison. Thaz Dr Cox."

"Dude…" Harrison said. "I wanna play with his hair!" _They're drunk and singing Disney songs… What have I walked into?_

"NO TOUCHIE!" JD yelled at Harrison. Dr Cox rubbed his forehead, trying to ward off a headache. Then the name dawned on him.

"Harrison, as in Kelso?"

"Yup!"

"You do know that you're the spawn of the devil, right?" Harrison raised his beer bottle towards him.

"Don' I know it…" He said, and took a large drink. That's when Dan returned from the bathroom.

"Heyy Coxer." He said, and grabbed a beer.

"How long have you been pink?" _Am I having a really weird nightmare? _JD giggled.

"Janitor turned Dan pink, now he 'az at be a clown." Harrison started giggling too, and they sounded like drunk schoolgirls. He raised his eyebrow at Dan, _Translation?_

"Kelso's making me dress up as a clown for the kid's in pediatrics because I filled the hospital with pudding." He didn't seem to mind that much.

"Cotton candy man!" said Harrison, pointing at Dan. He and JD laughed even louder. _I need a scotch…_

"And who's idea was it to let these two drink so much?"

"They were like that when I brought them back from the restaurant." _So newbie went on the date after all… I'll torture him later when he'll remember it._ Dr Cox sighed.

"I'll take Blondie home, you make sure Pricilla doesn't drink anymore." He didn't give Dan a chance to disagree, and grabbed Harrison by the back of his shirt and pulled him out the door.

"Wait! Don't leave new friend!" JD yelled out the door, he got off the couch, probably to follow them, and fell over.

"You're cut off." Dan said.

* * *

"'E really likes you, ya know." Harrison said from the next to Dr Cox, who ignored him. That never stopped him before. "I mean, for like the first half an hour we hung out, he wouldn't shut up about you. Tha's how we got to Disney, it's the only thing that distracted 'im."

"The more you talk, the more my car is filled with the disgusting scent of boxed wine, cheep beer, and gummi bears, so why don't you shut up before I am forced to throw you out of a moving vehicle." Harrison quieted down, and made the ride to his father's house that much faster.

"See ya." Harrison said, as he got out.

"God I hope not." Dr Cox couldn't resist one last bit of Kelso-bashing before he left, and honked his horn as loud as he could. Then he drove off, after hearing Dr Kelso screaming out his window, "Stupid kids! It's one in the goddamn morning." _Whaddya know, my headache's gone._

* * *

I snuck out into the parking lot, looking over my shoulder to make sure Dan hadn't followed me. Sasha wobbled a bit as I got on her.

"Whoa girl, settle down." _Guess I'm still a little tipsy… _My scooter started up right when I started her anyway, so I headed down the road to Perry's house.

(I walk into Perry's apartment, and see Harrison and him sitting on the couch eating candy.)

"I'm coming! Save the Hershey bars for me!" I yelled. _Hey, what are those lights? They look like a car, coming straight towards me… _

* * *

"Carla! We've got a new admission over here!" The nurse handed her a chart and sent her off to the patient's room. _Lets see… Male, late twenties, car accident… If he's awake, I should know his name… John Dorian._

"WHAT?" Carla ran to the room. _Calm down, John's a common name… It could've been a typo, mixed up the name of the patient and the name of the doctor…_ She walked into the room and her suspicions were confirmed. JD was lying on the hospital bed.


	9. My Rude Awakening

"How's he doin'?" Dr Cox asked Carla, looking at JD from the doorway of his room.

"He'll be fine. He broke his arm, still in shock. Should be up in a few hours." Dr Cox sighed in a relieved way, and Carla could tell that he wouldn't say anything else. "I'll bring you some coffee." She said, and walked off to leave them alone. Dr Cox pulled up a chair next to JD's bed and sat next to him.

"Newbie, if you can hear me…" He whispered, " That was the stupidest thing you've ever done. Drunk driving? You're a doctor…" He shook his head. "But I shouldn't have left you alone, I could've taken you to my place. But yet again I had to make an ass of myself." He stopped and reached out for JD's hand, then pulled back before he reached it. "Won't happen again." Dr Cox stood up, turned around and left without a second glance.

* * *

"Uhhhggg…" _It is way too bright in this room. How much did I drink last night? _

"You're awake!" I opened my eye a crack and saw Turk, who was much too cheerful. "How do you feel?"

"Like my brain's trying to beat itself to death. How long have I been out?" _And where the hell am I?_ I just noticed that I wasn't in my room, but in the hospital. "What happened?"

"Do you remember any of last night?"

"No…" _Alcohol poisoning? Did I fall down the stairs? _

"You drank half a bottle of wine and five beers, then tried to drive Sasha down the road. You were driving in the wrong lane, and swerved to avoid a car, then you crashed into the pavement. You broke your wrist and arm in three different places. Oh, and Carla and Elliot wanted me to tell you that they won't talk to you unless medically necessary before the cast comes off." _Great._

"Aren't you mad at me?" I asked.

"I was, but now I'm just glad you're okay." _At least one thing's going right._ I noticed Turk doing his guilty twitching, and wouldn't look me in the eye.

"What?" _Please don't tell me I hit someone._

"Your scooter… was totaled."

"SASH-ow!"

"That why people usually don't yell while their arms are in slings." _Damn booze._

* * *

"Barbie!" Elliot turned to Dr Cox.

"What do you want? Here to make my day worse?" He held out a chart to her, she lifted the top and checked the name. "I've already seen JD's chart."

"Take it." Dr Cox insisted.

"What? I thought you'd want to take care of him yourself, what with the god complex and all." He shifted a bit, trying to look angry instead of nervous.

"I know, I am the best damn doctor in this building, possibly the world, but you are one of the few people in this hospital who wouldn't intentionally kill him, so I think a can safely hand you the chart."

"Why don't you want to take care of him?" Elliot asked, shocked.

"I…can't." He said after a long pause. _He came to me, I guess there's a complement in there somewhere._

"Trade you for Boeper." They silently switched charts.

* * *

I watched as Elliot walked in, ignoring me even though I was technically her patient.

"Hey Elliot." I said, waving with my left hand. She grunted. _Ha! She's cracking. _"What's happening?" She said nothing, and kept up scribbling on my chart. _I must know what she's writing about me… Time to shock her into speaking._

"BANANA HAMMOCK!" I yelled. Elliot, apparently used to my crazies, didn't notice.

(I was in a submarine, and all the read lights started flashing, and the siren went off.

"Time for drastic measures!" I said, as the water rose up to my chest.)

"Lolli-pop, lolli-pop, oh lolli, lolli-"

"Lolli-pop!" Elliot sang. "Frick!" I chuckled. "Oh, you think that's funny, Mr. Drunk Driver!" I stopped. Elliot blew her hair out of her face angrily.

"C'mon Elliot, I'm gonna go crazy around here if Turk's the only person who talks to me for the next week."

"I'm still mad at you!" I gave her the puppy dog look.

"I'm bored! And Carla told the nurses not to talk to me, so I have no idea what's going on. Plus Dr Cox hasn't visited all day!" _Wow, I sound pathetic._

"Fine, JD, I'll stop by again after my shift. Right now I have other patients to check on." She walked out in a huff. _Now I just have to pass the time until then…_


	10. Our Reunion

After she had clocked out, Elliot and I sat in my room eating the pint of 'Ben and Jerrys' that Turk smuggled me.

"If I get fat from this, I blame you." Elliot said, destroying a spoonful.

"Noted. So what's going on around here?" I asked, eating my own bit.

"Well, oh yum brownie chunk, Harrison went home last night and Kelso almost fired Todd for hooking up with his son."

"Almost?"

"Turk bribed him not to, so Carla's pissed off at him. What do you know about the Janitor?" I gulped.

"Why do you care about the Janitor?" She looked down and took another bite of ice cream. "Oh my god you like him."

"Shhh!" She hissed at me, like he was going to pop up from a corner, and say 'I heard that.' "Maybe I've thought about it a bit, do you think I should ask him out?" The last part was said so fast that it took me a minute to figure out what she said.

"No! Elliot, he's evil!" She glared at me.

"I happen to think he's very sweet and-" Her voice got so high pitched that I couldn't understand her.

(I listened to Elliot rant, with her voice getting higher and higher, until a drop of blood trickled out of my ear.)

"- and listen to me when I'm fricking talking to you!" she screamed, bringing me back to reality.

"I'm listening! And if you like him so much, why do you even care what I think?"

"You're right." Elliot got up and shook the bangs out of her face. "Why do I care what you think?" She turned around and marched out my door.

"Wait, Elliot! Don't leave me all alone!" Too late, she was gone.

* * *

Dr Cox was about to clock out after his shift when Turk ambushed him.

"Get the he-ell away from me Turtlehead."

"You know," Turk said, ignoring him. "Even surgeons know that patients heal better when they're in a better mood."

"Thank you, Gandhi, for that ve-hery basic lesson in medicine."

"JD would cheer up if you visited him." Dr Cox glared at him, and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just a random fact."

"I know that you don't want me to go anywhere near him." He growled.

"I don't," Turk paused, "but he's happier around you. God knows why. And I want him to be happy." Dr Cox continued to glare. "Look, you don't have to, but a good doctor does whatever he has to for his patients. He walked away, and Dr Cox scowled.

* * *

I sat o bed, finishing my ice cream, alone. _Sigh… I wonder what Perry's doing right now…_

I didn't have to wonder for long, because he walked in my door and sat next to my bed.

"Dr-"

"No talking." he said, glaring at me. _Why can't I talk? _I opened my mouth to ask. "No" he said again.

_Fine. _I mimed zipping my lips, and he scowled at me.

"I'm not in here for you, I'm in here because I'm a good doctor. You're lucky I'm even here at all. My god, Charlotte, drunk driving? How stupid can you get?" I felt bad, since everything he said was true, but I couldn't help grinning. "What are you smiling about?"

"I missed you." Perry paused.

"No talking," he grumbled.

* * *

"Janitor?" Elliot said in her high pitched nervous voice. She saw him in a crowded hallway.

"Hey blonde doctor, what's up?" She smiled when she heard her nickname.

"Do you wanna get dinner later? You don't have to or anything, but-"

"Sure!" the Janitor said, grinning wider than Elliot.

"Coolio!" she said, and walked away.

"Did you just ask out the janitor?" Carla asked.

"Yeah, why?" Carla stared at her.

"Well, besides the fact that he's the janitor, and too old for you, he's also a borderline psychotic that has a stuffed-squirrel army to help him pass the time! What you need to do is to find someone your age, and settle down." Elliot looked a bit worried for a minute.

"Um, Carla… In case you haven't noticed, I'm insane. I can deal with taxidermy, and you know about my thing for older men…" she drifted off for a second. "Anyway, when you think of all that, don't we sound kind of perfect for each other?"

"Maybe…" Carla muttered. "But it still sounds like a bad idea to me."

"It's one date, Carla. What's the worst that could happen?"


	11. Our Gossip

Elliot was waiting for the Janitor to show up, and obsessively going over everything that could have possibly gone wrong in her head. _Maybe I told him the wrong restaurant, or he got lost, or he DROVE OVER THE SIDE OF A CLIFF, or he ditched me… I bet he ditched me… _The Janitor arrived, perfectly on time, and walked over to her table.

"Hey Blond- Elliot." He said.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen you not wearing your uniform." Instead he was wearing a flannel shirt and old blue jeans. "You kind of look like a lumberjack."

"Thanks!" replied the Janitor (who honestly likes lumberjacks.) "How much were you obsessing about weather or not I was going to show up?"

"Only a little… Or a lot. How did you know?"

"'Cause I'm a winner." Elliot laughed, _he knows me so well! I think this is going to go good._

* * *

Elliot walked to the cafeteria table and sat with Carla and Turk. She sighed and leaned her head against the table.

"You okay, Elliot?" Carla asked.

"I don't know. I feel like crap, and I want to puke. I actually WANT to puke." Elliot folded her arms around her head.

"Why don't we go somewhere a little more private." Carla asked her.

"Baby, you can talk about this stuff in front of me." Turk said. Carla gave him a 'sure I can' look.

"I don't wanna move…" Elliot said, but got up anyway. Carla half-dragged her to the bathroom, and after a quick check to make sure they were alone, went into nagging mode.

"Did you sleep with the Janitor?" She asked, hands on her hips.

"WHAT? Carla you know I am four-date Reid! Four!" Carla glared at her for twenty seconds. "Okay! Fine, I did…" Elliot said, blowing hair out of her eyes.

"Don't you think there's a possibility you might have gotten 'something' from him?" Elliot glared at her.

"No, Carla. I'm a doctor, I know all the symptoms of an STD. This is more like a stomach flu."

"How so?" Carla asked, one eyebrow raised.

"Well, I've been nauseous all day, I'm tired, bloated, and I want to curl up in the fetal position and eat chocolate until I hurl." Carla's eyes widened.

"That doesn't sound like an STD…"

"I know."

"That sounds like you're pregnant." Elliot's eyes widened, and she opened her mouth to say something, but no words came out. Unconsciously, she put one hand over her stomach.

"Pregnant?" She squeaked, "I'm PREGNANT?!" Carla tried to calm her down by hugging her and making shh-ing noises.

"Calm down, you might not be." She said. "We don't know for sure. When's your period?"

"Tomorrow…" Elliot said.

"Then why are you worrying?" She hugged Elliot again. _I really hope it is the flu, for the sake of everyone else in this hospital._

* * *

I was in my room for the last day, visiting with Dan.

"Give me the fork!" I screamed at him.

"Not on your life!" Dan yelled back, laughing manically, holding the silverware over his head.

"Dan! My arm itches! I need the fork!" Dan cackled and ran for the door, but stopped when Dr Kelso barged in. He glared at us, then spoke in his most pissed off voice.

"This is a hospital." We both quieted down. "Shut the hell up, or I'm going to cut off your pain meds." He grabbed the fork from Dan, then turned around and walked out.

"He scares me." Dan said, sitting back down next to my bed. _You and me both, _I thought, scratching the outside of my cast. It didn't help.

"My stupid arm is driving me crazy! Get me another fork!"

"Nah…" Dan said, leaning back in his chair. Carla suddenly ran in.

"JD, I need to talk to you!"

"Doesn't anyone knock anymore?" Carla just seemed to notice that Dan was in the room.

"Beat it." She said to him. _Oh no, she's shaking…this must mean good gossip._ Dan didn't move for a minute, then he noticed the crazy gleam in Carla's eye.

"Almost late for clown duty!" He said, jumping up. Carla closed the door behind him, and walked over to me.

"JD, I have a secret, and if I don't tell someone I'm going to explode." She said.

"Why me?" I asked, pretending I didn't want to know.

"Please! You're the only person I trust besides Turk, and he won't listen to my gossip anymore."

"Fine…" I gave a dramatic sigh, "tell me then."

"Elliot's pregnant." _What? WHAT?_

"WHAT?" Carla smiled, and looked terrified, all at the same time. _I wonder what pregnant Elliot would be like?_

(--)

_It's so scary I can't even imagine it…_

"Who's' is it?"

"The Janitor's" _So this is what the apocalypse feels like._


	12. My Homecoming, Their Troubles

**A/N I don't know what I was thinking when I wrote the last chap, but Elliot started feeling pregnant a week after her date. Just so everything makes sense. Sorry it took so long to update!!**

* * *

I walked through the door of my apartment for the first time in a week. _It's good to be home._ I flopped down on the couch, stretching my good arm.

"You can help, you know!" Turk said from the hallway, carrying the remains of Sasha.

"Nope! Doctor's orders!" I said, waving my cast where he could see it. It was true, Perry ordered me not to do anything that I could get hurt by until my cast came off. Including going up and down stairs. _It's sweet how protective he is…_

(Perry in full medieval armor, picking me up and carrying me around, so I wouldn't stub my toes.)

I sighed. _That's the life. _I rotated my arm so I could see all the signatures on my cast. I'd gotten everyone I could to sign, even though I'd be going right back to work the next day. Turk walked in and set down the dented bits of scooter, then flopped down next to me.

"Tired?" I asked him, he glared at me, not impressed at my display of cuteness.

"When that thing comes off," he said looking at my cast, "you are moving all the furniture in this house." Unfazed by the threat, I continued grinning. _I'm glad things are finally going back to normal. Drama is not fun to deal with._

* * *

"Heyy Elliot!!" Dan said, popping up from behind her. "You busy Friday?" He asked her.

"Ummmm….." she said, avoiding his eyes. _You have a boyfriend! Just tell him!! _"Yes! I'm going bungee jumping!!" _What the hell?_ Elliot looked shocked at her own incredibly bad lie, and Dan's face fell.

"If you didn't want to hang out with me, you could've just said." He walked off.

"Wait, Dan!" She ran to keep up with him, feeling a slight pang in her stomach. "I have a boyfriend. I can't go out with you, but I love hanging out with you." Dan grinned.

"Sure, that's what I was gonna ask about. Who's your boyfriend?" he asked, expecting her to name some stuffy doctor he could easily outshine.

"The Janitor." Elliot said. Dan paused.

"Neat." He finally said. He turned around and walked away, planning his revenge.

* * *

The Janitor finally cleaned up all the pudding from the first floor. It had taken forever, even though he'd worked at least half of the time he was supposed to be. He was celebrating by going back to his normal state of lazing about, starting by sunbathing on the roof. He stretched out his long legs and leaned back in his lawn-chair. _This is the life…_ The Janitor dozed off, warm in the sun.

Dan snuck up on the sleeping janitor, and laughed at the sight of him sleeping in his uniform and giant sunglasses. He stopped suddenly, then stood over him, trying to get an inspiration. He scratched the back of his neck, and felt little flecks of dye fall off. He stopped mid-scratch, an insane grin coming to his face. He knew what to do.

* * *

Elliot stared at the little blue plus sign. Plus. Positive. Yes. Pregnant. _Frick frick frick frick._ She considered taking another, but that was the fourth one she'd taken in the last hour. She was definitely pregnant.


	13. His Makeover

I walked into the hospital as a doctor for the first time in a week.

(Everyone claps as loud as they can as I walk in, and I bow.

"Thank you, thank you all-")

"What the hell are you thanking me for Q-tip?" Laverne said, hands on her hips. _Oops. I have to stop acting these things out…_

"Umm… Look a bunny!" I pointed over her shoulder. She turned, and I ran. Elliot stormed by me, doing her angry quick walk. _I'd hate to be whoever she's pissed off at._

* * *

_Gotta tell him gotta tell him gotta tell him…_ Elliot looked around for the Janitor, but hadn't found him all day.

"Elliot!" Dan said, popping out from behind her. Elliot just stopped herself from hitting him.

"Dan kinda busy right now. You seen the Janitor?" Dan let out an evil little chuckle.

"Oh I've seen him alright…" He laughed more, and started tapping his fingers together again. Elliot raised her eyebrow.

"Um… What was that?" Dan snapped back to reality.

"Nothing. I've said too much." He stopped tapping his fingers and walked away. _Do I want to know? _

"Carla!" she yelled, deciding that she didn't want to know.

"Hey Elliot. What's up?"

"Have you seen the Janitor?" Carla thought for a second.

"He went up to the roof a few hours ago…"

"Thanks!" Elliot said, heading for the stairs. She ran up to the roof. She looked around and spotted something that looked like a person in a lawn chair. Sorta.

"Janitor?" Elliot said, edging closer. She came close enough to see what was sitting there and screamed.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Screamed the Janitor, finally waking from his nap. Elliot stared at him. Not surprising, seeing as he was covered in green paint, with fake moss green eyebrows pasted over his real ones.

"WHAT?" He yelled, still startled. His shirt shifted and Elliot saw a paint line by the hem.

"Uh…I…need to talk to you." She said, distracted.

"Well, you don't have to scream in my ear."

"Sorry…" She couldn't take it any more. "I'mpregnantandyoulooklikethejollygreengiant." She gushed. He blinked.

"Jolly green giant, why do-did you just say pregnant?" Elliot nodded. The Janitor nodded too. "Any chance it might have gills?"

"No, as a doctor I'd have to say that's not medically possible."

"Huh. How about webbed toes?" Elliot considered it.

"Maybe." The Janitor nodded again.

"I'm on board." Elliot, for once, had nothing to say.

* * *

I was walking to my next patients room, when Elliot blindsided me.

"JD!" she yelled. She grabbed my arm, probably leaving bruises with her absurdly strong fingers, and pulled me into a supply closet. "I need to talk to you." I rubbed my arm.

"Really, I couldn't tell." She ignored my sarcasm.

"Can you tell Dan to go home?"

"Why?" She seemed hesitant to tell me.

"He …um…pulled a prank on the Janitor. And I think he might get paid back if he stays." _Oh crap._

"I'll say something to him." I said, worried for his safety._ And by 'I'll' say something, I mean I'm going to get Carla to chase him out. "_What did he do? Besides the pudding thing."

"He painted the Janitor green." I got a sudden mental image and laughed. "It's not funny!" I kept laughing.

"Yeah it is!" I said, sliding to the floor. I could tell that Elliot was trying to hold back a smile.

"He has fuzzy green eyebrows too…" I burst out with renewed laughing, and Elliot finally joined in.

"I missed this place." I said, when I finally caught my breath. Elliot, still giggling, nodded.

* * *

**A/N I feel like I haven't been updating often enough, wich sucks, because this story is really fun to write. So I'm giving you people permission to kick my ass into gear if you think so too. That is all. ;)**


	14. His Big Mistake

**Real quick A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update, but I tried NaNoWriMo, and I didn't even want to think about writing more when I was done, but I finished this chap and should have the next up soon. It's short, but there's a reason!**

* * *

The Janitor waited in the hallway, near the setup of his newest plan. He tried to be inconspicuous, but failed seeing as he was about six feet tall and bright green. _I will get unshaven guy back. _He mentally chuckled to himself at the brilliance of his newest plan. _There's no way this can backfire…_ He abandoned his fate-tempting thought in order to put the finishing touches on what he was now calling 'Operation Defenestration.'

* * *

Elliot and Dan walked through the hallways of Sacred Heart, the sounds of their whining scattering patients and staff.

"Why do I have to leave?" Dan yelled.

"Because you painted my boyfriend forest green!" This was met by chuckles, which Elliot stopped by glaring at everyone within five feet.

"He dyed me pink! Pink is worse then green!" Dan yelled back, not intimidated by Elliot's glaring.

"You started it!"

"No I didn't!" Elliot just stared at him for a second, frazzled.

"Well…just get the hell out Dan!" She screamed, her voice high enough to crack glass. They both made disgusted noises and walked off in different directions.

* * *

The Janitor waited behind a desk, being too tall to hide under it. He heard the sounds of the fight far off, and smiled evilly when heard blonde doctor screaming at stupid unshaven guy. Then the sound of someone stomping towards him at an angry pace, he got ready to spring his trap.

_Closer…closer…NOW!!!!_ The Janitor pulled the rope, sending stupid, unshaven guy straight forward onto the spring loaded trap, which would propel him out the window. Unshaven guy screamed. Shrieked more like it. The Janitor looked up, just in time to see Elliot fall face first onto his spring loaded trap.

"No!" He said, leaping forward to catch her. He missed.

Elliot landed on the trap, disguised as a floor tile, which thankfully malfunctioned. Pushing rather hard against her gut, but not lifting her out the window.

"Are you okay?" He asked her. Elliot clutched her stomach.

"The baby…" she said, definitely in pain. Several nurses rushed over to help her, pushing the Janitor out of the way.

"We need to get her to the ER." Someone said. A stretcher was brought around. The Janitor followed them down the hallway, staying far behind them so not to interfere.

His girlfriend, and his baby, were in trouble. And it was all his fault.


	15. Their NotSoHappy Alone Time

_Where is she, where is she…_ I wandered through the hallways of Sacred Heart, trying to find Elliot's room. _THERE!_ I almost missed it in my rush, nearly tripping myself in turnaround. Elliot was lying on a hospital bed, thankfully asleep, and the Janitor was holding her hand.

"What do you want?" He asked, trying for mean but mostly sounding sad.

"She okay?" I asked. He half glared at me.

"Yeah. Some random doctor said she'll be fine."

"And the baby?" The Janitor looked away.

"I've been around here long enough to know that it's not good when they say 'it's if-y.'"

"Did they actually say that?" He glared at me for real this time. "Never mind…"

* * *

Turk was in the nurses lounge, multitasking. Mainly, he was half worrying about Elliot, and half trying to stop his wife from committing Janitor-icide.

"Baby…"

"What? Do you really think you can stop me from beating Lurch within an inch of his life?" She asked him, a crazy 'mother grizzly' look in her eye.

"Babe, calm down."

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN!"

"That's not convincing when you scream it! And you're way to worked up to go down there, you'll probably assault someone, cause a scene, and none of that is good for Elliot right now." Carla crossed her arms and looked away, a sure sign he was getting to her. "If you wait here, I'll go check up on Elliot for you. Okay?" Carla pursed her lips, but nodded.

Turk leaves the lounge, almost running into Dr Cox.

"Watch were you're goin' there Gandhi." Turk looked around for anyone else, and found no one.

"Look I need a favor." Dr Cox stared at Turk, non-verbally saying 'and why do I care?' "I'm gonna go check on Elliot, and I need you to stay here and make sure Carla doesn't go anywhere near her, or the Janitor. Please?" Dr Cox sighed.

"Fine." Turk nodded in thanks, and headed off to Elliot's room. As soon as he was in the elevator, Dr Cox flung the nurses lounge door wide open.

"What?" Carla asked.

"Oh, nothing." Dr Cox said, sitting down next to her. "I was just coming over here to get away from Barbie's flock of well-wishers."

"Yeah." Carla shifted uncomfortably.

"Yup. You'd think she was dying with all the people over there. Say, why aren't you there?" Dr Cox asked, resisting the urge to smile.

"I-uh… I gotta go." Carla said, leaving. Dr Cox grinned. Job well done.

* * *

I was pacing back and forth in Elliot's room.

"Stop that." The Janitor said, not looking away from Elliot.

"I can't help it, I'm a nervous pacer." The Janitor didn't reply, but I could swear I heard his teeth grinding. I attempted to pace quieter. I was saved by Turk showing up, preventing any violence that might have ensued.

"Hey." He said to me. I waved. "How's she doin'?"

"Okay." I replied in a low voice. "She's fine, just knocked out from the meds. But the baby isn't so great." Turk nodded and clapped an arm around my shoulders.

"Where's Carla?" I asked, Turk started to reply, but my question was answered when she walked in.

"You." She said, somehow making that one word a lot scarier then it should have been.

"Uh oh." Turk said.

"You did this to her!" Carla walked up to the Janitor, who appeared to be ignoring her. "Look at me when I'm taking to you!" She put a hand on his shoulder.

"Carla…" asked a weak voice.

"Elliot." Everyone said at once. The Janitor leaned in towards her.

"Hey…" She whispered.

"I'm sorry." the Janitor said, and sounded like he meant it. Carla backed off, giving them a caring look. We unanimously decided to give them some space and left.

* * *

"How am I doing?" Elliot asked the Janitor, a little strength coming back into her voice.

"Okay." He said, still speechless. They both knew Elliot wasn't asking about herself. "they're waiting to tell about… the rest."

"You mean our baby?" Elliot asked coldly.

"Yeah." The Janitor answered. Elliot's hand went slack in his. "I'm sorry."

"You said that already."

"You didn't say it's okay yet."

"It's not."

"Oh." The Janitor said, hoping he imagined the last five seconds or so of conversation. He didn't.

"You- I don't even know what you were doing but it was stupid. And it wasn't exactly great for our baby either!"

"Fine! If that's how you feel, maybe I should just leave then."

"Maybe you should." Elliot said. The Janitor gulped. Maybe if he apologized-no he already did that. If she wanted him gone, he was gone.

* * *

"What do you think they're doing in there?" I asked Turk and Carla.

"Probably having some sappy reunion moment." Turk answered. Carla made a sarcastic snort. Turk was going to ask her why, but was saved the trouble when the Janitor stormed out.

"Hey!" Carla yelled, "I've got a bone to pick with you!" She hurried after him.

"I am going to kill Dr Cox for letting her down here."

"Later, SCB, I think now we should be talking to Elliot." Turk sighed and nodded. We walked into her room. The first thing I heard was soft crying.

"I think you should deal with this one." Turk whispered, I let him go.

"What's wrong Elliot?" I asked, sitting next to her bed.

"Everything."


End file.
